The 5 Love Languages (What’s Your Love Language?)

love language

What’s your love language?

Have you ever thought about it?

Love is Universal. But it can be expressed in many ways.

Though love is our essence, sometimes things get lost in translation. That’s why it’s crucial to understand the different kinds of love languages.

We all yearn for love. We look for love in different ways and express love in different ways.

Essentially, there are 5 love languages…

The 5 Love Languages

1. Gift Giving
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Service
4. Words of Affirmation
5. Physical Touch

These are all different ways of expressing and receiving love. And each of us has unique preferences regarding these. Most people prefer one – or several – love languages, while others might be unimportant to them.

Here’s an example of each of the 5 love languages…

  • Gift Giving – Buying your partner flowers.
  • Quality Time – Taking your partner out on a romantic date.
  • Acts of Service – Running an errand for your partner.
  • Words of Affirmation – Saying “I love you.”
  • Physical Touch – Giving your partner a massage.
  • Different people prefer different things. With myself, for example, I could care less about receiving gifts or having an act of service done for me, but I highly value the other three. I need the sharing of quality time, physical touch and words of affirmation in order to really “feel the love.”

    It’s important to keep this in mind when interacting with people you’re close to.

    For example, if your partner’s primary love language is words of affirmation, don’t just get them roses for Valentine’s day and ignore them. They’d probably prefer a handwritten poem.

    Love languages go beyond romantic relationships too. They apply to all of our relationships.

    For example, if your best friend’s primary love language is quality time, it would be a better idea to go on a weekend trip with them as opposed to buying them a new shirt for their birthday.

    What is your primary love language? What love languages are important to you? What love languages are unimportant to you? How do you prefer to give love? How do you prefer to receive love?

    What is your partner’s primary love language? Or the people you spend the most time around.

    Leave a comment below.

    Much LOVE.

    – Stevie P!

    Release Limiting Beliefs With These 5 Simple Steps

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    We learn our belief systems as very little children, and then we move through life creating experiences to match our beliefs. Look back in your own life and notice how often you have gone through the same experience.
    ~ Louise Hay

     
    Limiting beliefs are like heavy bags, filled with useless stuff, that you carry with you wherever you go.

    You may think that whatever you’re carrying in those bags is important, but the bags ultimately weigh you down and greatly restrict your mobility. There’s also the aspect of becoming accustomed to carrying the bags. Once you do it for a while, it becomes your default state. You don’t know any better, so you go around carrying your baggage without ever stopping to ask, “Wait, what am I doing?”

    Limiting beliefs are insidious because you don’t really know that they exist until you’re able to objectively look at yourself. It’s like the old phrase, “The fish will be the last to discover water.” Until you’re able to observe your thoughts, emotions and actions, you’ll forever be confined within a bubble reality of limiting beliefs and disempowering false assumptions.

    Many of the limiting beliefs we hold are learned from our parents. As children, we are subconscious sponges, constantly picking up beliefs, habits, behavioral patterns and general views of the world from our parents. This is how our model of reality is sculpted, for better or worse. (See: Face It, You’re Parents are Flawed).

    The Power of Mindfulness

    I cannot stress the importance of mindfulness enough.

    In order to be able to view yourself objectively and even have the option to change, you must cultivate mindfulness.

    Think of mindfulness as self-awareness from a higher perspective, or the ability to objectively observe your thoughts, emotions and actions.

    Mindfulness is the basis of any change. It is the foundational phenomena that, once, cultivated, will put you in a position of power to change anything. Instead of unknowingly repeating limiting or negative patterns on auto-pilot, mindfulness gives you the choice in every moment to indulge those patterns or not (and choice is a superpower).

    If you develop mindfulness, you will be in a position to intuitively discover and release anything that’s holding you back. With enough mastery, you won’t need any external information. If you can still the waters of your mind and just listen, you’ll be able to receive all of the answers you need. Remember that.

    Mindfulness is cultivated through a regular meditation practice. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated or time consuming either. The notion that meditation has to be difficult is actually a limiting belief that many people have. You can start just by sitting with your eyes closed and observing your thoughts for 2 minutes every day. Just 2 minutes! Another ridiculously easy practice is the 21 Breath Salute. Once you feel like you’re able to consistently watch your thoughts and they appear less and less, you can extend the time or try out other forms of meditation. Don’t be intimidated by the idea of meditation; even the shortest and simplest daily practice will be greatly transformative over time.

    A Simple 5 Step Process For Releasing Limiting Beliefs

    1. Ask Questions and Embark on a Scavenger Hunt

    Your limiting decisions are hiding out in the areas where you’re producing results that you don’t want.
    ~ Matthew B. James

     
    Your limiting beliefs are the shadows lurking beneath the results you’re getting that you don’t want. So here’s the big question to identify limiting beliefs: What results are you getting that you don’t want? This can apply to any and every aspect of life.

    If you’re having money problems, for example, chances are that you’re holding a limiting belief around money. So ask yourself these kinds of questions to get to the bottom of it:

  • What is my self-talk regarding money? (Maybe it’s something like “There’s never enough money.”) And in what situations does this negative self-talk come up?
  • How am I reacting to my financial situation? A feeling of helplessness? A victim mentality? Anger?
  • Hint: If you’re reacting to your situation in a disempowered way, that’s a telltale sign of a limiting belief.

    If you’re having problems finding a relationship, there’s probably a limiting belief standing in the way. Here are some ideas of questions to ask yourself regarding this:

  • Do I think all women are (insert negative adjective)? Do I think all men are (insert negative adjective)?
  • Do I think that women only interested in X? Do I think that men only interested in Y?
  • Am I waiting for perfection?
  • Do I not want to settle down yet?
  • Do I not feel worthy of a good relationship?
  • Use these types of questions for any facet of life that you wish to release limiting beliefs. You’ll be surprised at how much you can uncover just by asking the right questions.

    A major part of releasing limiting beliefs is treating it like an internal scavenger hunt. You have to be honest with yourself and willing to make a change. Adding elements of gamification and viewing the process as a scavenger hunt makes it more fun and less intimidating.

    Note: Choose one specific limiting belief at a time for the rest of the steps. Focusing on one belief at a time will help create a deep awareness regarding that belief and allow you to effectively and fully eliminate it.

    2. Write down the limiting belief.

    Writing something down leverages the power of externalization. There’s something magical and cathartic about getting something out of your head and into written form. If you write your limiting beliefs down, it will give you perspective, objectivity and insight that you never would have imagined if you had just kept everything in your head.

    3. Recognize that it is a belief, not necessarily truth.

    This is crucial to understand; just because you believe something doesn’t make it true. Viewing beliefs from this perspective is transformative in and of itself.

    Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
    ~ Marcus Aurelius

     
    4. Change your thoughts until the belief changes (belief transmutation).

    The most effective way to get rid of limiting beliefs is to replace them with more empowering beliefs.

    A belief is simply a thought that you think over and over again. With mindfulness you can observe and change your thoughts. If you change a thought consistently, then you’ve changed a belief!

    Affirmations are immensely useful here. Let’s go back to the limiting belief regarding money, “There’s never enough money.” Every time you say “There’s never enough money,” “I don’t have the money,” or anything like that (to yourself or out loud), change it to something like one of the following affirmations:

  • I always have more than enough money to meet my needs, wants and desires.
  • I delight in the financial security that is a constant in my life.
  • I am open and receptive to all the wealth in the Universe.
  • I always attract whatever I need for a glorious future.
  • Money comes to me easily and effortlessly.
  • Wealth constantly flows into my life.
  • My actions create constant prosperity.
  • I am aligned with the energy of abundance.
  • Find an affirmation that intuitively feels right for you or create your own based upon the specific limiting belief you wish to replace.

    Consistency is key with this practice. Continuously substitute limiting self-talk for more empowering self-talk and soon enough your belief will be transmuted.

    5. Consciously change your actions based on the new belief.

    How would you act if you had this new belief? Act that way. It’s as simple as that. Act like the belief you want is your reality until it actually becomes your reality.

    Using the example of limiting beliefs around money again, changing your actions doesn’t necessarily mean spending extravagantly. It can be as simple as expressing gratitude (and not guilt) whenever you do spend money. It can also consist of staying open to and actively pursuing more income, instead of just complaining about your lack of money. Another strategy is to not let money be the biggest factor in determining everything you do. For example, if you’re really craving almond butter, splurge and get the expensive almond butter without worrying that it costs $5 more than you usually spend. If you don’t let money control your decisions (while using discretion, of course), then guess what? Money won’t control your decisions.

    Do you think you’re weak? Start acting like you’re strong, lift some weights and you’ll gain strength every week. Do you think you’re a bad writer? Write every day, and after a year, you’ll be a better writer than anyone you know. Do you think you’re bad at talking to men/women (whoever you’re attracted to)? Approach 100 people in the next month and you’ll be smoother than a frictionless surface after that. Do you see the trend here?

    Clarity comes through action. The car has to be in motion in order for the steering to work.

    You can’t sit around and do nothing, expecting your life to magically change. You have to meet the Universe half-way through your actions. Visualize the action and actualize the vision.

    Note: Do steps 4-5 simultaneously until the limiting belief has been transmuted into a more empowering belief. This may take a day or two for some, or as long as a month or more for deeply ingrained beliefs.

    Abundance

    The Paths Are Infinite

    There are also strategies that have the potential of helping you to spontaneously release limiting beliefs. This includes things like plant medicine (ayahuasca, iboga, psilocybin…etc.), energy work (reiki, acupuncture…etc), yoga (especially when holding certain positions for longer periods of time) and insights that emerge out of deep meditation.

    Though this article focuses on a specific process, remember that there are an infinite number of ways to reach any destination. Thinking that there is only one way to achieve something is a limiting belief in and of itself (wink, wink).

    Burst through the bubbles of limitation and embrace all possibility.

    Much love.

    – Stevie P

     

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    New Beginnings and Endless Endings

    A poem…

    Writing

    New beginnings and endless endings
    Infinitely dancing
    In a bittersweet twist
    Of co-created fate

    An ever-evolving cloud of possibility
    Recycling existence
    Ceaselessly raining new life

    Drops diving into the ocean of eternity
    Both infinitesimal and inconceivably meaningful
    For the ocean is but a union
    A union of individual drops

    Rippling through the timeless now
    Touching the deepest aspect of self
    Subtly reminding us
    Of our shared essence

     

    4

    Join on the Journey

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    The currents of life are continuously shifting
    Matching your resonance in each moment

    Endings and new beginnings intermingle
    Within the infinite tapestry of existence

    Everyone enters your life for a reason
    Everyone you encounter is a teacher

    Do not clutch on
    Do not possess
    Let go
    Let be
    Run free
    Inspire freedom within others
    For the ones who are meant to be
    Will join on the journey

     

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    Soul Mates

    Stevie P’s note: This is a post by Dean Hurtt, and originally appeared on his website at  www.deanhurtt.com. Dean explained the enigmatic concept of soul mates in such a succinct and straightforward tone, so I had to share it. Also, the analogy of us being leaves to a tree was an “Aha!” moment for me. Enjoy!

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    I often hear these terms thrown around rather haphazardly, and I wanted to clarify what my understanding of “soul groups,” “soul mates,” and “soul twins” are.

    Perhaps by just hearing these terms you already have an intuitive understanding of what they mean. It is actually quite logical, and there is a hierarchy in the terms.

    An analogy might be useful to start with, so that you can more easily picture how this whole process operates. Imagine a tree with leaves and branches—this is how your soul operates.

    At the beginning, there was no differentiation between any of us; we were One, with a capital ‘O.’ Then we started to split from God, Source, or whatever you want to call it. From there we kept dividing like branches on a tree, until we finally became our present Self, which for this metaphor is going to be a leaf.

    Now, back to the original terms I introduced at the beginning of this blog; let us start with soul twins, also known as “twin flames.” This is term that many people aren’t aware of, and is usually confused with soul mates.

    There is only one soul twin for each of us, whereas there are multiple soul mates. The soul group is the largest of the three, and if you have known anyone in your life for longer than 15 minutes or so, and felt a connection to, they are more than likely in your soul group.

    Soul mates are closer, and these are usually your friends, family, and coworkers. Finally, there is the soul twin, which people are usually the most concerned about finding.

    I would like to reiterate that all of this is my current understanding of these terms, and I am not claiming this is the final definition for any of these terms. If you have a different understanding, please let me know by commenting below!

    There are a few other things I would like to bring up while I’m on the topic of soul mates and such. Your soul twin is not going to make your life complete. I can’t possibly stress this enough. If you are searching for something outside yourself, you won’t find it until you realize you are already complete as you are, and don’t need anyone to fulfill your life.

    In fact, you likely won’t be able to find your soul twin until you find happiness within. It is a paradox, that what you are looking for won’t appear until you realize you’ve had it the entire time.

    This isn’t always the case, however, because it is possible to find your soul twin while you are still in internal conflict. When this happens, they will likely become one of your worst enemies, because they are reflecting back all the qualities you refuse to accept in yourself.

    Another possibility is that your soul twin isn’t even incarnated with you on the Earth right now. You generally don’t find your soul twin actually, because all of us enjoy incarnating with different people, creating new and exciting lives that make our souls rich with experience.

    Wouldn’t it become boring around the hundredth lifetime if we always kept coming back with the exact same people? Everyone is different in this regard, because some people like consistency, but others like variety.

    A good test for you to tell if you generally have the same people in your lifetimes is if you enjoy watching the same movie, or reading the same book, over-and-over again. If you enjoy new things more often than not, then it’s likely your soul likes to change things up as well.

    Nevertheless, even if your soul twin is here with you on Earth, it doesn’t mean they will be your romantic partner. Your soul twin can be a family member, or just a dear friend.

    They may stick around for the rest of your life once you’ve found them, or they may only be in your life for a day. There are no hard-and-fast rules for these things, because we are essentially making it up as we go along in life.

    Hopefully this brief overview cleared up some of the common misconceptions about soul mates.

    I am interested to hear your take on these things though, so please feel free to comment…

    You can find the original post HERE 

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    My Problem With Feminism

    To preface this post:

    1. We’re all equal, yet unique.
    2. Society has been overly patriarchal for a long time and that needs to change.
    3. I believe that a more matriarchal society would be much more beneficial for humanity.
    4. There is no denying that feminism has accomplished a lot in terms of equality and women’s rights.

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    My problem with feminism lies within the phrase “You can’t fight fire with fire.” In fighting the often-oppressive patriarchy, those who label themselves feminists tend to exaggerate their masculine qualities. So by fighting (even the word ‘fighting’ is very masculine) for women’s rights, they ironically become more like the men they’re criticizing. It’s like the recurring theme of governments throughout history… One tyrant is overthrown, only to be replaced by another. Because in the act of overthrowing, you’re forced to become tyrannical yourself.

    This is also evident in the workforce. When “playing the corporate game” you need to do certain things to move up the ladder. These usually involve the not-so-positive masculine qualities. But here’s the thing, you won’t change the hierarchy from the inside. You will only become the hierarchy by doing so. That’s why many women in high-ranking corporate positions exhibit the same traits and behaviors as the men. Because you need those traits in order to rise to the top of these rigid, hierarchical organizations. Instead, both men and women should focus on solutions. Building organizations that embrace the feminine side, instead of the exaggeratedly masculine corporate structure we’ve traditionally seen. This comes in the form of entrepreneurship and creating companies that place people over profit.

    “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”  – Socrates

     
    Both men and women need to tap into their feminine qualities. The sacred feminine exudes qualities of unconditional love, compassion, wisdom, beauty, gentleness, patience, accepting, forgiving, nurturing, welcoming, healing, receptivity, spontaneity, intuition, and right-brain creativity.

    This shift is the basis for solving the problem of exaggerated, masculine rigidity that has pervaded society for the last few millennia. The feminine essence has been suppressed so vehemently because its very existence renders the control system obsolete. It’s that powerful.

    Regarding relationships, polarity is essential to their existence. You need the yin and the yang, a dance of masculine and feminine energy for any intimacy to thrive. And this doesn’t mean that the woman embodies the feminine 24/7 and the man embodies the masculine 24/7. It should be a dance of fluidity between the two.

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    Most women tend to have a feminine core and most men tend to have a masculine core. And hey, if a man expresses more feminine qualities than the woman in a relationship, that’s fine too. The same principle applies if it’s between two men or two women as well.

    Intimacy requires polarity. In magnetism, opposites attract. As above, so below; this concept penetrates all levels of existence.

    If two individuals have a relationship without polarity, they’re friends. There’s no magnetic intimacy there. We’ve all seen it in relationships where the woman is forced to exaggerate her masculine energy because the man won’t step up to the plate. This creates two masculine energies; two rigid, dominating forces, and there’s no spark there. You need a giver and a receiver, a speaker and a listener, musical notes juxtaposed against gorgeous silence. Note: It also works between a man who embodies feminine energy and a woman who embodies masculine energy. It’s less common, but there’s still the dance of polarity there.

    This is a call for females everywhere to embrace their divine feminine. Embody your inner goddess and share your radiance with the world. It’s vitally needed in this day and age.

    Don’t fight fire with fire. Put the fire out with water.

    Stay cool.

    -Stevie P

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