99 Ways You’re Repelling Your Best Life

What’s in your field?

Your energy field speaks for you, even before you say a word.

Depending on what’s going on with you, your energy field can be magnetic or repelling. Oftentimes, it’s a mix; magnetizing certain things while repelling others.

This article is all about signs of a repellent energy field, especially when it comes to getting what you want.

I spent years expending enormous amounts of effort to try to get what I wanted (actually what my ego wanted).

I did this in every aspect of life, from friends as a teenager and in college, to “trying” to be “spiritual”, to being obsessive over health and fitness, to forcing myself to write and create, to chasing money.

The area this became most painful in was relationships. I tried so hard to fit a certain image of what I thought would be attractive to women. I felt like I was always searching, whether online, on dating apps, in public, at bars…etc. And when it wasn’t working, I put more pressure on myself to be fitter, smarter, funnier, more successful and more interesting. Talk about exhausting right?

I’ve had a massive realization around all of this lately. With every area of my life, I was actually repelling everything away from me.

This might sound paradoxical, but once I accepted myself fully, things started coming to me effortlessly.

If you can recognize the ways you’re actually repelling your best life, you can start to let it go and become more magnetic.

Warning: Your best life may be far different than what you’ve thought. For most of us, our desires are based on sneaky ego-programs that are not in alignment with our soul’s truth.

Here’s 99 ways we repel our best life, based on my experience:

1. You view yourself as incomplete
2. You view your life as incomplete
3. You’re attached to desires (aka you think you “need” something)
4. You always think you need to improve something about yourself
5. You resist what is, instead of accepting it
6. You fixate on what’s next instead of appreciating what’s now
7. You fixate on the past instead of appreciating what’s now
8. You’re quick to criticize yourself
9. You’re quick to criticize others
10. You’re always trying to teach or preach
11. You’re stubborn
12. You have a hard time listening to things you don’t agree with
13. You judge people and things as “good” or “bad”
14. You think in terms of us vs them
15. Your idea of “us” excludes certain people
16. You strategize more than you leap into the unknown
17. You think your worth comes from “doing” instead of just being
18. You think that more effort equals more results
19. You think that more results equals a better life
20. You’re constantly chasing more
21. You think more is better
22. You’re too busy to enjoy the little things
23. You focus on getting instead of giving
24. You think cause and effect is linear (instead of nonlinear/quantum)
25. You’re always looking for “proof” to ease your doubts
26. You’re always calculating risks
27. You put on masks because you think that’s what people want
28. You try to fit in
29. You think your real self is too weird to show people
30. You hold shame or guilt about your past
31. You try to hide things about yourself
32. You don’t follow through with agreements you make with yourself
33. You don’t follow through with agreements you make with others
34. You think happiness is in the future
35. You think a romantic partner will make you happy
36. You think achieving a goal will make you happy
37. You think more money will make you happy
38. You think success is something external
39. You believe your freedom can be taken away from you
40. You think you need to control situations or people
41. You blame situations or other people
42. You’re quick to blame yourself
43. You put pressure on yourself
44. You look for flaws in yourself
45. You look for flaws in other people
46. You look for flaws in situations
47. You compare yourself to others
48. You think being vulnerable is a weakness
49. You think being imperfect makes you unworthy
50. You always try to “keep it together” and suppress negative/messy emotions
51. You look outside yourself for validation
52. You try to prove that you’re a certain way
53. You seek to prove rather than explore
54. You react to what other people do instead of act from your inner wisdom
55. You’re impatient and want results ASAP
56. You trade long-term fulfillment for instant gratification
57. You have trouble fully trusting yourself
58. You don’t trust your intuition
59. You don’t believe the universe is conspiring in your favor
60. You don’t feel like you deserve your best life right now
61. Full responsibility for your thoughts, words and actions scares you
62. Commitment, in any form, scares you
63. You do things to impress people
64. You get excited when people notice you
65. You get depressed or angry when people don’t notice you
66. You get stressed chasing goals or people
67. You associate acceptance with being too comfortable or lazy
68. You associate surrender with giving up
69. You’re afraid to do nothing
70. You think that if you stop working towards something, you’ll lose it
71. You think more than you feel
72. You’re afraid to admit your weaknesses
73. You constantly put on a facade of being strong
74. You think you know what’s best for other people
75. You expect yourself to think, feel, speak and act a certain way
76. You expect others to think, feel, speak and act a certain way
77. You give with the expectation of receiving in return
78. You give only when it looks good
79. You help people only when you benefit as well
80. You help people only on your terms
81. You try to change other people
82. You force yourself to change
83. You want to catch someone’s attention
84. You obsess over improving and optimizing your life
85. You find your best personal attributes and pimp them out for attention/validation
86. You fail to see how perfect this very moment is
87. You think achieving or getting something will make you feel better about yourself
88. You think your inner state is determined by external reality
89. You place more importance on external reality than your inner state
90. You tie your self-worth to titles
91. You forget that there’s nothing you have to do
92. You sugarcoat things when you feel differently deep down
93. Fear of confrontation prevents you from speaking your truth
94. You live from your head more than your heart
95. You love people for who they could be, not for who they are
96. You’re afraid to admit that your goals might be egoic programs
97. You’re afraid that your best life might be really simple and humble
98. You forget that you are pure divinity, masquerading as a human being
99. You fail to see the divine in everyone and everything

I know, that’s a long list.

Go through this list several times, and note the ones that made you go, “Oh yeah I totally do that.”

Just observe your patterns. Awareness is key.

When you live in acceptance and gratitude for this very moment, you create space. In that space, what was once repelling energy turns into pure magnetism.

Remember, when you realize you don’t need anything, you always have everything you need. It just might look way different than your ego thought it would.

Sending you so much love.

~ Stephen Parato