Modern Western society seems safe on the surface…
But very few people actually feel safe (both on a physiological and psychological level).
People’s nervous systems are constantly in fight or flight mode.
People’s minds are hyperactive and hyper-vigilant.
This state is what we call survival mode.
And it’s insidious…
Not only because it sabotages you in sneaky ways (everything from your success, to your happiness, to your relationships).
But also because you probably don’t even realize you’re in survival mode.
Even if you think you’re a “chill” or “calm” person, it’s easy to deceive yourself.
Be honest…
- Are there areas in your life where you’re trying hard but not accomplishing much?
- Are you avoiding key areas of your life? (health, relationships, money, mental health, spirituality, etc.)
- Are you okay with doing absolutely nothing for long periods of time? Without distractions like your phone, tv, music, even books.
- How do you respond when your normal routine gets disrupted?
- How do you respond in situations you have no control over? Like a flight delay.
- How often do you worry about money?
- How often are your body’s movements slow, smooth and unrushed?
All of these can reveal ways you’re still in survival mode.
And there are more signs too, both obvious and subtle…
The Obvious Signs of Survival Mode
- Hyper-vigilance
- Worrying (about anything)
- Fear or panic
- Living paycheck-to-paycheck (and fear around money)
- Lacking creative energy (which includes sexual energy)
- Addiction to being busy
- Workaholism
- Inability to slow down
- Depression and not wanting to do anything
- Shallow breathing
- Bodily tension
- Addictive behaviors (even subtle ones like food, tv, or social media)
The Non-Obvious Signs of Survival Mode
- Rushing
- Hyper-fixation on time (always checking the time)
- Obsessing about how others perceive you
- Perfectionism
- Procrastination
- Putting pressure on yourself
- Having trouble focusing
- Over-planning and over-preparation
- Neglecting at least one of these two areas of life: Health or Relationships
- Getting in your head (overthinking, over-analyzing, etc)
- Not being present (always thinking about the past or future)
- Feeling overwhelmed and like you need more time in the day
- Reactivity (quick to anger, judgment, or fear)
- Defaulting to black and white thinking
- Fixating on results instead of enjoying the process
- Losing your sense of humor or lightheartedness
- Inability to sit still and just be
I invite you to scroll back up and read those lists again.
And do it through the lens of self honesty. Don’t pretend. Don’t try to downplay or hide things. Allow yourself to see the ways you still fall into survival mode.
Also, get real about the ways it’s affecting your life. Is it…
- Creating conflict? (even inner conflict)
- Sucking the fun out of your life?
- Feeding addictive patterns?
- Draining your finances?
- Taxing your relationships?
- Affecting your health?
- Undermining your confidence?
- Impeding your creativity?
- Clouding your inner peace?
- Blocking your joy?
- Creating loops of self sabotage?
- Preventing you from doing things you truly love?
- Making you do things you don’t really want to do? (but feel like you have to)
Again, get honest with yourself.
What Can You Do About It?
The most important thing you can do is be aware.
Bring awareness to the ways you get into survival mode. Bring awareness to how it affects your life.
Witness your reactions in different situations. Observe your thoughts and emotions more often.
That’s how you start to shift from survival mode into thrival mode.
Awareness, in and of itself, is transformative. And the more pure or loving Awareness is, the more powerful transformations it facilitates.
Then, as you bring this Awareness into your daily life, you repattern your nervous system.
Every time you Witness thoughts/emotions of survival or not-feeling-safe, you create the space for deeper nervous system recalibration.
For example, if meetings with your boss triggers survival mode, practice calming yourself before the meetings. Then practice remaining calm during the meetings with mindfulness techniques. Each time you do this, you dissolve the survival trigger a bit more.
Here’s another one. Let’s say driving puts you in survival mode. You get hyper-vigilant, stressed, controlling, and reactive. Turn driving into a mindfulness exercise. Make a game of being 100% present and aware of your thoughts/emotions as you drive. After a few times, your nervous system will feel completely different around the experience of driving.
Also, keep in mind that everything affects everything else.
That feeling around your boss might be sabotaging your other relationships in subconscious ways.
The survival mode around driving might be sabotaging your success in life.
Don’t fall for the trap of thinking everything’s isolated. Everything is interconnected, even if it doesn’t seem that way on the surface.
That’s why it’s crucial to be honest and open to new insights and new paths that emerge.
Soul Writing Session: Survival Mode
The first soul writing session I did for my Soulful Writing Collective was around this theme of survival mode.
We went through a little guided meditation, then a four-step journaling process to help you see the roots of survival mode in your life (and shift into thrival mode).
You can access the session by joining the community 👉 Soulful Writing Collective
Cheers to you thriving!
With gratitude,
Stephen Parato
PS – I was only able to write this newsletter (and create that soul writing session) because I’ve been looking at my own survival mode tendencies. It all comes from embodied experience, and I trust it helps you in some way.
Soulful Writing Collective
The Soulful Writing Collective is a community to help you consistently access a higher flow of creative inspiration and express your unique genius through writing.
If this resonates with you, and you want to join a community of like-minded people, check it out here 👉 Soulful Writing Collective
Check Out My Books & Journals
- Sozwik (Metaphysical Novel)
- Sozwik Book 2 (NEW)
- Information Alchemy
- Mindful Morning Journal
- 33 Day Transition & Transformation Journal
Brand Messaging Upgrades
Along with being an author, I’m a copywriter too. That’s what finances my books (and helps me sharpen my writing skills). Over the years, I’ve written for brands like Prince EA, Empire State University, Robert Kiyosaki, Anik Singal, Daymond John, and more.
I recently opened spots for Brand Messaging Upgrades.
It’s a quick and effective way to clarify your brand’s voice and create content that connects and converts.
🔗 Get your Brand Messaging Upgrade here: stephenparatocopywriting.carrd.co
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